Raising Kids with an Eternal Mindset

I was listening to Paradise by the Gray Havens. This phrase stuck out to me and it spurred a whole rabbit trail of thoughts about the longings of my heart and those of my family members:

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart . . .” Understanding this concept explains so much about our longings and feelings. Setting our minds on “things above” and having an eternal mindset really does change everything. There is an overflowing well of joy to be found when we grow an eternal mindset. As another Gray Havens song says, “Still there is more gladness longing for the sight than to behold or be filled, by anything.” The mere longing for heaven will give us more joy than anything the world could offer.

What is Paradise? What will Eternity look like?

We were created for glory!

We were created for the presence of God – to behold Him, enjoy Him, and be completely satisfied by Him for all of eternity.  This doesn’t mean that we are going to stand around in some cloudy heavenly room playing harps forever and ever.  It is so much more than that!!!!

There will be a new heavens and a new earth (Revelation 21:1).  We will dwell in a heavenly city – a new Jerusalem (Revelation 3:12 and Revelation 21:2).  We will have a home. Jesus said that he would go to prepare a place for us and that in his Father’s house were many rooms (John 14:1-4). 

We were made to “fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28) and I believe that since this cultural mandate was given before Adam and Eve fell that it was God’s intent for humanity and will continue to be God’s intent for humanity.  I believe that heaven will be beholding, enjoying, and being satisfied with the Triune God while we play and work and rest in a world that is a remade and glorified version of this one.  There will be no death, no sorrow, no sickness – only ever-increasing joy for all of eternity for those whose life is hidden in Christ.

My heart longs for THAT reality. Martin Luther said, “There are two days in my calendar, this day and that day.” – meaning the day when he would see the Lord and ever-increasing joy would commence. Luther clearly had an eternal mindset!

Our Heart Longings

Considering that I was created for a Paradise like that explains a great deal about the longings of my heart.  The sorrow I feel when something good comes to an end.  When I experience loss.  As time seems to slip through my fingers like sand in an hourglass and my kids are growing up way too fast!   When I buy something that I think will be “it” only to want something else a moment later.  Spending a day at the lake and wanting it to last forever or standing beside the Grand Canyon and our hearts bursting at feeling so very small next to such grandeur.  The negative emotions point to the fact that this fallen reality is not the way it was supposed to be and the positive emotions are pointers that we were created for more joy. 

I think it is incredibly valuable to dwell on eternity for our own hearts and as we do, to teach these things to our children.  All of us are in the same boat – we all have eternity written on our hearts.  We all are living in a fallen world where we are constantly seeking to be satisfied by what is not here.  We get a dose of that satisfaction when we commune with the Lord, but it isn’t like it will be!  My children feel this just as much as I do!  What a help to them to understand what those longings are all about! 

How We Foster an Eternal Mindset in Our Home:

We Use Illustrations 

We had a pet turtle.  He mysteriously escaped (we assume) to the pond in our backyard.   What a picture of the difference between now and eternity!  I can ask my children to imagine how Tiny Tim felt when he dipped into the big pond for the first time after living for so long in the aquarium.  What was the real sun like after experiencing only a heat lamp?  Could he have imagined such a wide open place to swim when he only experienced that little cube of water?  The variety of food available to him after living on only turtle pellets? 

Another illustration is that of the seed under the ground.  Does it know that it was made to flourish in the light of the full sun?  Does a seed imagine what it will be like to grow and bloom?  

Another picture is that of the little miniature “lakes” my kids dig in the sand when we go the beach.  While it is fun to create their own little pool, it is quite obvious that their creation doesn’t hold a candle to the God who created the lake!  Just like the turtle in the aquarium, the seed, and the child playing in a little foot pool – we were made for much more than we can imagine!  Look for opportunities to help your child understand that and capture each opportunity.

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

C.S. Lewis

We Celebrate Sabbath to Encourage an Eternal Mindset

We use The New City Catechism with our children. One question is: What does God require in the fourth and fifth commandments? Answer: Fourth, that on the Sabbath day we spend time in public and private worship of God, rest from routine employment, serve the Lord and others, and so anticipate the eternal Sabbath . . . I believe that the point of Sabbath rest is to anticipate our eternal Sabbath! The weekly rhythm of celebrating this in our home really helps to set our focus and our hopes on eternity! You can read more about how and why we celebrate Sabbath in this article (which comes with a free printable Sabbath planner!)

We Have Answers for Loss and Sorrow

We had a butterfly that emerged from a chrysalis.  Something was wrong with one of its wings and it just couldn’t fly.  My oldest daughter realized on her own that this meant the butterfly would not survive.  She was so sad for the butterfly and spent hours in the garden bringing it from flower to flower trying to care for it. 

What an opportunity to help her understand that this suffering is because of sin in the world.  Before there was sin there was no death or suffering.  Butterflies never had deformed wings in Eden. There will be a day when there will be no more of that type of suffering.  While I don’t know if that specific butterfly will be in heaven, I do know that God is sovereign over it and that He is good and that there is an answer for the heartache we feel – big or small.  Adam’s first sin impacted all of nature.  Christ’s death and resurrection purchased salvation from sins as well as redemption for all of nature!  The sadness she felt could be a catalyst to celebrate the hope of the future and to increase her longing for the day of Christ.

Another child of mine was awake during the night dwelling on a toy that had been lost long ago.  She was so sad.  We talked about eternity.  That there would be no lost toys there – that whatever sorrow she was feeling would one day be forever ended.  I explained to her that when she was feeling sadness she can turn that into prayer – Come Lord Jesus!  Hurry!  I want to be with you.  I want all the sadness to go away! 

Spend Time Longing for Christ Yourself 

Read your Bible!  (If that seems like a daunting task for you check out this post.) Look for promises about what it will be like when you behold him face to face!  Let yourself long for Him and all that he will bring.  Seek him.  Your seeking will be contagious to your family.  You cannot lead your children heavenward if you, yourself, are not facing that direction.

Read Revelation 21 and 22. Foster Job-like faith in yourself so that when you endure trials you can boldly say, “For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!” (Job 19:25-27) Lift your drooping hands and set straight paths for your feet as you meditate on Hebrews 11 and 12. Set your mind on the Spirit with the glories in Romans 8. Believe Jesus’ words about paradise in John 14. Set your hope fully on Christ in 1 Peter 1. I could go on and on.

We Manage Dissatisfaction

Has there been a time in history when children are marketed to with as much vigor as they are today?  It seems like everywhere they look there is something shiny and new that they can have (almost immediately through Amazon). They can get all sorts of things with their own money from the Dollar Tree.  They see their peers have things and they want them.  (Children aren’t the only ones – my cravings aren’t for light up shoes but are for much bigger and more expensive things like a new kitchen!) 

Children (and adults) imagine that having something will make them so happy. Then, there is a crummy emotional plummet when they get that thing and it isn’t so shiny and it falls far short of delivering on the promised happiness.  Use these opportunities to help children confront the inevitable dissatisfaction that follows hope misplaced.  Knowing ahead of time that it will not bring the kind of joy they are longing for is a great help in those circumstances. 

Recently, one of my daughters wanted to spend some of her own money on some dress up clothes.  To her 6 year old mind this particular dress would make her beautiful and satisfy her in every way.  I explained to her that though the dress would be pretty on her and would be fun to own, it would eventually fade and tear.  Her desire to be beautiful was a dim expression of her desire to be made like Christ – clothed in his righteousness and conformed to his image. 

Use Opportunities to Elevate Longings

Take your kids to the Grand Canyon or the ocean.  Listen to great music like Bach and Beethoven.  Look at great art.  Taste really good food.  Read the best literature like the Chronicles of Narnia. Introduce them to people throughout history who have longed for and grasped after external greatness and set your children along the same path. I also highly recommend these Gray Havens’ songs (and so many others) which really point heavenward: Far Kingdom, Gone are the Days, Shadows of the Dawn, and Forever.

Point Eternal Mindset Out in the World

Even the world has this figured out – as I write this my kids are listening to the song “Never Enough” from the movie The Greatest Showman.  If you doubt that eternity is written on the hearts of all mankind just give that song a listen! I want to rush on stage and tell her that beholding Jesus for all of Eternity will be enough! Here is a snippet of the lyrics:

Many people go after the “world” in order to satisfy longings the world is incapable of satisfying.  Look at the consumerism around us!  People thinking the next purchase will make them feel a little happier.  We think that relationships and intimacy will meet our needs.  We think that financial security will do the trick or maybe thrilling and breathtaking experiences!  What a waste of our time and resources!  None of those things will ever be enough!  Point this out to your children when you see it around you and in your own hearts.

I hope this article will spur you on to ever increasing joy as you and your family long for the day when you will behold Jesus’ lovely face forever. Please encourage other moms by sharing this article and I’d love to hear in the comments other ideas for fostering an eternal mindset.

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