8 Insights To Baby Language That Will Explode Your Mothering World!

Recently, a friend was telling me about how her 15-month-old struggles to stay in her crib.  She bemoaned, “If only she spoke English!” I think most of us moms can relate to this frustration!    Language development is an incredible and complex process. Read just a tiny bit of research on baby language and you’ll find yourself amazed with our amazing God who has knit us together so fearfully and wonderfully (Psalm 134).  Let’s scratch the surface just a bit and see how it revolutionizes our mothering!  (Some of this is data from various studies and some of this is based on my own experiences as a special educator dealing with language development and as a mother.)

1.  Did you know that children do not need to be actively taught language?  

They acquire language through interaction.  According to the Linguistic Society of America, children who do not hear language will not learn to talk.  Also, children who only hear language via TV or radio will not talk because they are missing the interactive element.  Children need language to be interactive.  That means you can and should converse with your baby and you do not need to feel crazy for doing so!  (Children who are deaf acquire language much the same way except with signs rather than words.)

2.   By 6 months a baby can produce all the sounds of the language or languages they are surrounded with.

They will learn the syntax and grammar of that language (or languages) by about age 5 without needing any formal education in it.  After about 5 or 6 years that developmental “window” closes and their future ability to learn new languages will occur in a different way.  The language and speech patterns of your parents will always be more natural to you.  That is why my Kansan husband says, “the lawn needs mowed” while I (from Minnesota) insist that “the lawn needs to be mowed”.

3.  At the age of one, children go through a holophrastic stage.  

A child will give one word but convey more meaning.  For example, your child might say “up” and convey “pick me up”.  They might say “mine” and convey “I want that, give it to me”.  This suggests that children understand much more than they are able to verbally express.  As children pass through various stages of language learning they will reach various points like this holophrastic stage where they understand more than they can express. 

If you’ve ever tried learning a second language you can probably understand this.  You may have been able to follow a conversation in the language you were learning but you were not able to enter into the conversation because your comprehension was ahead of your verbal skills.  This lag time between comprehension and verbal skills can feel incredibly frustrating.  If your child tantrums, often it may have to do with an inability to express themselves.  This means that we should strive to be patient and active listeners when our children are trying to communicate.  This also brings me to the next tidbit . . .

4.  As a parent, keep in mind that your child’s understanding exceeds their ability to verbalize language! 

Your toddler is smart.  She knows much more than she is letting on.  Give her some little tests – ask her to do something like “Find your blankie”, “Come Here”, or “lie down”.  Repeat your request and give her plenty of time to process it.  At about a year most children can comprehend simple commands like these especially with familiar objects and activities. 

5.  There is quite a bit of research out there on “baby talk” and babbling. 

Your natural inclination to adjust your language when talking with your baby is an incredible gift!  That said, it is also important to balance “baby talk” with normal speech patterns so that your child hears your regular syntax, grammar, and vocabulary during that 0-5 developmental “window”.   Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.  Go ahead and keep using “baby talk” but try to avoid getting weird with it.  Your baby needs both types of language. 

6.  Read to your baby! 

I am sure your pediatrician told you to do this, but you may have thought they were joking.  There are countless benefits of reading to your newborn/baby/toddler/child but among them is language acquisition.  When you read aloud from a book, even a child’s board book, you utilize grammatical patterns and vocabulary that you may not typically use.  Reading exposes them to that much more language!  A study from Ohio State University [BL4] claimed that young children who are read to (5 books or more) each day enter kindergarten with exposure to as many as 1.4 million more vocabulary words than children who are not read to.  Check out this list for a few of my favorite first books for babies!

7.  You don’t have to dumb down your language! 

Children are capable of learning so much.  You can use rich vocabulary with very young children.  Use whatever vocabulary best fits the situation and then explain the vocabulary.  Go ahead and call your daughter precocious and then explain to her what that means.  A child can really learn any vocabulary word as long as she can connect it to an experience or concept that she already understands.  We were talking about “anticipating” heaven.  My little girls were easily able to understand the meaning as I explained that when they get excited about their upcoming birthdays they are “anticipating” their birthdays.  Easy! 

8.  This has massive ramifications for disciplining young children! 

(You can read more tips on discipline here!) So often we hesitate to expect obedience because it doesn’t seem fair if “they don’t understand”.  But since I know that my 12 month old understands what I mean when I say “lie down” I can expect obedience from her.  I don’t need to second guess giving her a firm “NO” when she starts a wrestling match on the changing table.  Side note: in our family the first form of discipline is typically a firm “no” with a disapproving frown.  We start around 9 months and it is usually effective.  

Since my toddler understands me, I don’t feel bad when I move her out of the crib in her sisters’ room and into her pack-n-play in “solitary confinement” after she refuses to “lie down and go to sleep.”   If you aren’t sure that your little one can comprehend your simple directions, test it out in a little game where you tell them to sit down, lie down, get the book, etc.  Each time they obey give a big cheer and clap! 

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