Your Quick Clean-Up Toolbox for Kids – Avoid Mess Frustration!
If you are anything like me, you quickly tire of nagging kids to clean up all their stuff! If anything triggers me to lose my temper at home, it is this issue. I often find myself with that difficult conversation that is half repentance and half pleading to just put the things AWAY! Kids messes tend to wear us down because they are so daily – hourly even! Here is a little toolbox of strategies to use so that you lose it less often. At the end of this article, I have included a free printable that you can tape up in your home. Remember that all these tools are best used by a mom with a cheerful and loving demeanor! Take a deep breath, smile, and grab a handy tool.
Play Mystery Thing. This was always a favorite when I was a classroom teacher, and it works just as well in my home. You tell the children that you have a “Mystery Thing” that you are watching. Whoever puts that item away (or into the trash) wins! Sometimes I choose an object right away, and sometimes I wait and choose one after they’ve cleaned up a bit. I do give a small prize such as a penny, a sticker, or a jellybean. When I was a classroom teacher I offered a jolly rancher and that single piece of candy did the job of motivating 24 third graders at once! You can play several rounds of this game, but make sure each round is the right length to keep them motivated. Younger children may need to “discover” the Mystery Thing in under 5 minutes while an older child can work a little longer for it. Tell them that they may not ask you “Is this it?” after each item they put away, but that you will let them know when the item has been found. Also, don’t give clues. I don’t let them know they’ve found it until the “Thing” is physically in its proper place.
Set a timer. So often I look at a task and I am completely unmotivated because I think it will take FOREVER to complete! Children are no different. They look at a mess and are discouraged by their perception of how long it will take them. I love to set a timer and say cheerfully, “We are all going to work on cleaning up for 5 minutes and then we are going to stop and do such and such fun activity.” A visual timer or duration timer is especially helpful for little ones who don’t have a strong grasp of time yet. I use this one every day. I also have an app on my phone called Visual Timer that is free.
Have them clean up a specific quantity of things. “Ok, you are going to each put 15 things away.” This is a nice strategy when you’ve had other kids over for a playdate because they can participate too. This also works as a filler for those 5 minutes before dinner. While it usually doesn’t completely take care of the mess it is a movement in the right direction. It eliminates the paralysis caused by an overwhelming mess and even the youngest child is able to do this.
Identify the primary issues. Send your child into the mess with the question, “What is the thing that needs to be cleaned up the most?” After they report back to you tell them that they need to go and take care of that specific problem. So, if they identify Legos as the messiest toy then have them clean up the Legos and don’t worry about the other things for now. This teaches valuable skills of decision making and prioritization. I often do this very thing when I have more housework than I will be able to complete! It also motivates by providing control and autonomy.
Anything left out goes into quarantine. By quarantine I mean a box or bin that I put up high for one or two weeks. I reserve this one for when there is disobedience during the cleaning process. I don’t think that making a mess is typically an offense worthy of discipline, but disobedience certainly is. I make it clear to my children that the reason they are experiencing this consequence is that they disobeyed when I asked them to clean up. In fact, even though I might feel angry about a mess I know deep down that messes are part of a healthy childhood – messes are proof kids are using their imaginations and being productive with their play! My expectation, however, is that they tidy up when I ask them to. Sometimes I give them a warning that this will happen and sometimes I do not.
Have fewer toys. I am not a “minimalist”. There is a tipping point, however, when there are simply too many toys. You might get rid of excess toys or you may simply store them to be rotated back into play later. If your children can not clean up their toys in a reasonable amount of time, chances are there are simply too many. This is also a key strategy if you often have other children over to play! Playdates used to leave my children frustrated because their friends would play with everything but be unable to effectively help with the cleanup. Now that we have fewer toys out it takes a maximum of 15 minutes to have them all put away.
Label where things go. You don’t have to be all Pinteresty with your labels. Sure, it is nice to have beautiful coordinated labels but “Perfection is the opposite of completion”. Sometimes a scrap of paper with a word and a rough pencil sketch taped on a bin will do the job. If you have pre-readers be sure to include a rough sketch of the item. It doesn’t have to be a great drawing. Stick figures are fine. They will get it!
Words of affirmation. We all need encouragement, including little ones. Compliment them on what they are doing well. Always be honest and genuine with your affirmation. It might be how they are working well with their siblings, how precise they are with cleaning up, how fast they are, that they put away something heavy, or that they were able to find the teeny tiny Polly Pocket pieces! Tell them that you are pleased that they are becoming better at cleaning up! It is a skill that will serve them well their entire lives.
Surprise Me! I love giving my kids some tools, closing the door, and saying “I’ll be back in X minutes, surprise me!” or “Daddy will be home in 5 minutes, surprise him when he gets here!” They love having me close my eyes and leading me to the room where I am really surprised by their phenomenal room make-over! The key with this is that as long as they put in some effort you need to choose to be satisfied with their work and be able to show them you are genuinely pleased with their efforts. I sometimes give them some wipes and set them loose in the bathroom – Or I’ll give them our small dust-buster vacuum. They feel so grown-up and typically rise to the challenge. Sometimes there is some additional creative “decorating” that makes me smile.
Divide and conquer. Give each child a specific area to clean up. Make sure the boundaries are very clear and that it is manageable for that child. This helps when you have one child who is a hard worker and one who tends to lolly-gag. I started using this when I was fed up with the “She’s not cleaning!” tattletale. It is also helpful when your children have different skill levels when it comes to cleaning because it prevents unhelpful comparisons and arguments.
Do you have other tools that work in your home? Share them below in the comments! Subscribe to my email list and download your free “Kids Clean Toolbox” printable!
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