7 Tips for Successful Family Devotions

Over the past 7 years there have been so many times where my husband and I have felt utterly defeated by family devotions. Either we weren’t consistent, the kids seemed to check out, or the baby would start crying (sabotaging our plans!) We are still far from perfect in this discipline, but we’ve learned a lot from our many mistakes. Here are our 7 tips for successful family devotions.

Make Family Devotions Incredibly Sweet

I am a firm believer in anchoring important disciplines with tangible joys. I want my children to think back on family devotions as a sweet time with our family. First and foremost that means that mom and dad need to have sweet attitudes and be quick to repent when our end-of-day exhaustion gets the best of us. Second, it means making the content engaging and meaningful so that my little ones can grasp concepts that are high and lofty. Third, it means connecting family devotions to physical delights. Musical instruments like these during singing time (yup – it will be loud, but it will also be really fun!) or dessert after dinner are two simple ways to anchor spiritual delights in physical joys.

I hear the objection coming, “but God’s word is great enough without needing to add treats and games and things!” Yes, it is great enough. In fact, it is so great that it should make us the happiest people on the planet. It is so great that it should overflow in every area of our lives including an insane desire to see my children smile when they get ice cream to accompany tonight’s Bible story. I love connecting the delight of their taste buds to the delight I hope they are experiencing in their hearts. We do this with our Sabbath dinner as well!

I didn’t make this up – it is all over scripture! How many times did God use physical object lessons to teach? The sweet manna in the wilderness to help the Israelites grasp God’s provision toward them. The delicious Passover roasted lamb to understand how good Christ’s sacrifice would be. (Don’t miss that – if you’ve never had roasted lamb take my word that it is absolutely mouth watering.) Consider how often wine is referenced and enjoyed in the Bible! Wine! God could have chosen something gross like pickle juice as a “sign of the new covenant” but he chose sweet wine! You can see it over and over in all the old testament feasts – feasts! – repeatedly tying the spiritual realities to the physical pleasures of food.

Aim for Family Devotion rather than Bible Mastery

The sweetest thing about family devotions is that they are family devotions! Discussing the Bible together, a chance to ask dad a question, singing off tune together while the baby has a dance party – the whole purpose is that we are doing this great thing as a family. Yes, I want my children to know their Bibles thoroughly. I want them to have a million verses buried in their hearts and have dozens of hymns memorized. But, we have all day for those things! It doesn’t all have to be crammed into these short family moments. We can teach them while we walk, when we study a butterfly, when we read a picture book, when we eat breakfast, and when we tuck them into bed.

Don’t try to do it all

Scripture memory, singing, catechism, reading through a book of the Bible, prayer, a devotional reading – these are all great things but it can add up to a lot. I think that often the temptation is “bite off more than we can chew” because our eyes are bigger than our stomachs here. Pick two or maybe three good things that your family enjoys. Accept that there are other great devotional books out there that you don’t have time to do right now (maybe someday!). Let there be seasons where you focus on singing, seasons focused on memory verses, and seasons where you focus on asking God for “help” as a family. Don’t over think or over plan. Pray about it as a couple and just decide!

A few Recommendations

If having too many options isn’t your problem you might benefit from some recommendations. Here are just a few things that have worked well for us in various seasons.

Learning a hymn. Keith and Kristyn Getty (on a youtube video or something) shared that they pick one hymn a month and teach their children. We do this. I print off the words and have them near the dinner table, in the car, in our homeschool room, and taped by the baby’s changing table. Focusing on one each month means we all memorize it and the hymn is therefore available for us to sing anytime/anywhere. We sing a capella. Sometimes we sound pretty bad, but I am pretty sure that God is pleased anyway. These hymnals have a great mix of classic hymns and more modern worship arrangements. I love having a few on hand.

Reading through a book of the Bible or a segment. Narrative portions of scripture work better with this. We’ll read a short segment. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, the story of Joseph, Creation, Flood, are all good starting places.

Catechisms. I grew up Baptist so we didn’t really do catechisms. I thought it was some strange thing the Catholics did. Catechisms are just a method of teaching that involves asking a question and giving an answer. They are great for grounding children in theological truths and often tie various Biblical passages together. Some are wordy though.

We love the New City Catechism. It has a Bible verse with each question. The “answers” also have a portion highlighted that works as a shorter answer for little children. We learn one question/answer each week and then review a handful of past questions/answers.

Exploring the Bible Together by David Murray. This is one of the more recent finds. Each day involves reading a pretty short passage (2-4 verses) and asking two questions about what was read. There is a 1-2 sentence summary and a 1 sentence prayer. It is super short each day BUT the depth is such that we all walk away with new insights. I am often left considering something about God that I hadn’t realized before. At the same time, my 5-year-old is able to understand the discussion as well.

I also wrote a small curriculum that we have used for family devotionals. It has 16 lessons include a foundational truth, a verse to memorize, a story, discussion questions, an illustration, and “take if further” activities. There are also song and hymn suggestions, coloring pages, and memory verse cards. I sell it as a digital download on my Etsy shop.

Let your husband lead family devotions

For a long time I was the one who lead family devotions. It wasn’t that my husband wasn’t willing – but it was sort of delegated to me. I was the one who was a “former teacher” and I was the one with time to prepare something ahead of time. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a woman planning a devotional activity for the family (especially when asked by her husband) but I think it is better when the husband leads. Family devotions ought to be led by the head of the family! Somewhere along the way, my husband took over our family devotions. We don’t do any cutesy family Bible skits or “teacherish” activities but our devotions are much better now.

I see that God has blessed my husband taking the lead. Also, my children are more prone to look to him as the spiritual leader than to me (which feels right to me). It isn’t that my husband has so much more Biblical knowledge than I do (although he probably does) but that he is acting in the role the way he was commanded to act. When we do things according to God’s plan they just typically go better.

But what about the single mom? Or the wife whose husband won’t lead? If you are single or the only believing parent then you need to lead your own family devotions. If your husband simply isn’t stepping up to the plate, I would first urge you to pray about the matter. Pray that God would move in his heart! Second, after you have prayed for a while tell your husband (without being whiney or nagging) that you’d like him to lead some sort of family devotion. Third, affirm whatever he is doing (even if it isn’t as good as you think you’d do it.) Affirm him in front of your kids especially! Say things like, “I love when daddy reads the Bible to us!” or “My favorite part of the evening is when dad prays after dinner.”

Keep Family Devotions Short

Kids have a short attention span. You aren’t doing anyone a favor by making family devotions into lengthy affairs. My oldest is 6, and by dinner time, her attention span is about ten minutes max. We aim for 5-10 minutes for our family devotions. If the kids are checking out or getting squirmy you are probably either being boring or taking too much time (or both).

Consistency is more important than length

We have come to realize that it is better to do family devotions poorly than not do them at all. Yes, there are times when we just sing a quick song and pray before we rush out the door to that-thing-to-which-we-will-be-late-again. But, we’d rather do that than nothing at all. Consistency communicates that this is a priority. It is similar to my Bible reading in the morning – if I am short on time it is better to read something quick than skip it altogether.

We have tried many methods for making our devotions consistent and we have often failed. What we have learned is that we need to anchor them to a consistent event in the day and we need to be in it together.

As for “consistent events” we’ve tried breakfast, dinner, and bedtime. Bedtime fails if we have something going on in the evening and there tended to be more behavioral issues since our kids were pooped. Breakfast didn’t work because either someone was still half asleep or my husband was late for work. Dinner has been just right for our family. We almost always eat dinner together.

What I mean by “in it together” is that we are on the same page. I understand what my husband wants to do with family devotions and, on evenings when he is absolutely wiped out, I encourage him to stick with the plan. Also, if he is absent at a meeting or some other commitment I respect our family’s commitment by leading the devotions on my own.

I love hearing from you! Tell me in the comments about what makes your family devotions work! Sharing this post with a friend or on social media helps our family!

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