5 Reasons for a Family Afternoon Tea Time Ritual

We’ve done some sort of family tea time for quite a while. My husband enjoys Earl Gray and is secure enough in his masculinity to enjoy it in fine china so we’ve had tea together since our early years of marriage! The ritual has morphed and changed over the years into what we do today. Lately, I was reflecting on how sweet the entire experience is for our family and I wanted to recommend it to you. First I’ll explain what I mean by tea time and then I’ll also offer some suggestions for making it elegant and delightful without spending an arm and a leg or involving too much work!

What do you mean by Tea Time?

Traditionally “Afternoon Tea” is the mid-afternoon snack. Envision scones with clotted cream and jam eaten by elegant ladies sitting around a coffee table. The coffee table, in fact, is why this tea is sometimes referred to as “low tea”. You may have heard of “High Tea” which is actually a less formal early evening meal. High Tea isn’t necessarily an upper class affair and derives its name because it is generally eaten at a “high” table (in contrast with the low coffee table).

I would typically give my kids a small afternoon snack and we simply replace this with our Afternoon Tea Time! We pull out the china tea cups and the little demitasse spoons and have our “snack” with a cup of tea. I do not typically bake scones or anything – rather I just use what we have on hand for a snack. I do try to make it all look and feel a little fancier.

“But, We aren’t Homeschoolers” You Object

If you look on Pinterest you’ll see that “poetry tea time” is a somewhat popular idea among homeschool families! I am here to tell you that you do not need to be a homeschooling family to do this! This year we are homeschooling, but last year we did not homeschool and it was sweet to have “tea” after school. It was a chance to calm down and talk about the day.

You might pick up on the fact that my husband joins us for tea. I realize this might not be a possibility for every family. Right now my husband works from home several days a week. He enjoys it so much, though, that he’ll often come home from his office to join us for tea! (He has about a 10 minute commute).

Why Everyone Needs an Afternoon Tea Time

I asked my family what they love so much about tea time. “We sit and talk” was my 5 year old’s response! My husband enjoyed taking a break in his day to slow down. My 6 year old enjoyed the teacups. Everyone like the tea! (Ironically, no one commented on the cookies and treats!) Here are five more reasons this is a valuable experience.

• Tea time causes everyone to slow down and sit down. If I am giving my kids a snack I generally do not sit down with them. When we do tea time we all sit down together. The table is elegant and we all want to linger together. We talk more. We rest more.
• Using elegant dishes is an opportunity for my children to learn to be careful! My children have always started using actual china tea cups between ages 3 and 4. I start them off on one that isn’t my all time favorite and accept that accidents may happen. Ironically, I have been the only member of our family to ever break a teacup!
• Afternoon Tea is a great opportunity to naturally teach etiquette and manners. Do you grab your snack or offer one to your sister first? Which sounds better, “I want more tea!” or “May I please have another cup of tea?” Etiquette is fitting and easily taught amidst the elegant tea service.
• This is an opportunity to bless my family. My children and my husband are blessed when I take just a few more minutes to lay out an elegant tea rather than just chop up an apple for their snack. I enjoy telling them that I love them in this way. So many homemakers understand the significance of translating grace into delicious meals for their families. Tea time is one more platform to take something hum-drum and turn it into a profitable blessing.
• Practically, it works better than a mid afternoon snack. I want my children to have a snack to tide them over until dinnertime, but not so much of a snack that they won’t eat dinner! Tea has a way of filling them up without actually filling them up (depending on how many sugar cubes they are given!) so that they are still hungry for dinner. I think the consumption of so much liquid along with the slow-sitting process works well in this way. No one actually eats much and we are therefore happy until dinner but still hungry when we sit down to supper.

Boys and Tea Time

A note on boys. I have three daughters and girls are all about tea parties. They will even throw on some dress-up clothes and accessories before tea time. While I don’t have boys, I think that the value in Tea Time is just as important for them. It is a wonderful skill for a boy to be able to demonstrate self-control and restraint for periods of time.

I am not saying that we should “feminize” boys in any way. Let them be rough and tumble and high-energy, but let them also know when to exhibit restraint. Let them be powerful but let them also learn how to control their power. My husband is very “manly”. That he can chop down a tree, work a harried business deal, and then, sit down with a teacup somehow accentuates his masculinity. If I had boys, I would be even more intentional about having afternoon tea.

Practical Steps

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“But, I don’t have any fine china!” I hear you object. Or, “I would never let my 5 year old touch my great grandma’s china set.” I get it. Props matter here and we don’t want to go on a spending spree. Also, we want our children to prove they are capable before giving them heirloom china!

For frugal finds I would recommend checking out thrift stores! Many people do not value elegance and are apt to “declutter” these sorts of things. After thrifting you could stop at an antique store. No doubt you’ll find plenty of fancy items for your Afternoon Tea there. At an antique store you’ll pay $10-15 for a teacup. You can also find things on Amazon. I have an idea list here. (Note: I don’t personally own all the things on this list.)

Another idea is to collect these things over time. Give your child a teacup for their birthday! Grandparents are always looking for Christmas and Birthday gift ideas and they’d possibly even have some of these things on hand to give!

This is what you’ll want to have for Tea Time:

Teacups. I use mismatched ones that my grandma had collected. We all enjoy choosing a teacup! My husband and I also like to pick these up as souvenirs when we travel.

A teapot.

Creamer and Sugar. I like to put a little milk in black tea. For herbal teas I’ll slice up a lemon and have lemon slices in my creamer instead of milk. You can use plain sugar, honey, coconut sugar, OR you can buy sugar cubes. Sugar cubes are magical. I do have to ration my little girls with how many sugar cubes they may take! (I get my sugar cubes at Walmart for about $3 a box but you can also get them here.)

Demitasse Spoons. I recently bought these ones because I needed more. They are great. We also use these for desserts and for feeding babies (they work much better than the dumb little plastic baby spoons in my opinion.) The word demitasse is French and refers to a the small cups used for serving espresso. Demitasse spoons are the small spoons that go with the small cups. Trust me, you need them in your life.

Napkins. Any will do. The dollar store is a great place to find some pretty napkins. You can also use linen napkins!

A tablecloth. While it isn’t necessary, a tablecloth sets tea time apart. You can find tablecloths anywhere. I like to look for vintage ones at thrift shops and antique stores.

A serving plate or tiered plate. Just something pretty to put your food items on. Traditionally a tiered plate is used to distinguish savory morsels, scones, and sweet treats. Our treat is generally a cookie and some fruit so, a smaller plate does the trick! The dessert stand pictured below is neat because you can disassemble and adjust it. Also you can swap between the silver and gold hardware to match your table!

Tea! Try different types. Black teas generally have more caffeine, and if that is a concern, you can find decaf black tea varieties. If you are new to tea you can pick up a tea sampler at the grocery store and try out a few different types. Pay attention to how long you need to steep each kind of tea. Steeping too long will make them more bitter. I use an electric kettle like this to boil my water. If using tea bags you can tie 2-3 bags together for easy removal from the pot. On the other hand, if you are using loose tea you can use one of these loose tea infusers or buy these little bags which are fantastic.

Treats. This can be as simple as crackers and apples or as high class as scones with clotted cream and cucumber sandwiches. Our treat is more simple. For example, we love having a few shortbread cookies (that I buy at Aldi) with some strawberries. Anything can pass if it is presented in a pretty form.

Handle with Care

Yes, you are risking something being broken when you involve children in Afternoon Tea. While pretty, these are “things” and they are meant to be used! The teacup serves us, not the other way around. That said, common sense dictates easing into things. My 17 month old will have “tea” (juice) in her sippy cup at her highchair with the rest of us. Eventually, I’ll have her use a little plastic teacup from her play kitchen. Then, I’ll graduate her to a real teacup that isn’t one of our most special ones. Once she shows that she can use care I’ll let her use any of our things.

Another concern is that tea is hot and the teapot can be heavy. My husband or I pour the tea for now. One of my teapots is actually very costly. While I normally love my children to help clear the table, this is one instance where I clear the tea things. They know how special that tea pot is and if anyone is going to feel bad about breaking it I want that person to be me! Washing up is a cinch because everything practically rinses off the china cups.

I hope you are inspired to give this favorite pastime of ours a try! Let me know in the comments how it goes for you and don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss anything!