How to Start a Quiet Time for Toddlers and Kids

I have a 17 month old. She is in that ultra busy stage where she can empty all the dresser drawers, unwind a roll of toilet paper, decorate the wall with pencil, and relocate every single toy in our home during the time it takes me to use the bathroom. As cute and delightful as she is, every member of our family needs some small periods of time where we can catch our breaths and the one nap in the afternoon is not enough! Quiet Time in our home is a lifesaver! Here is the nitty gritty of how to establish a quiet time with your toddler or young child (from my experiences with all three of our kids!)

Why Do a Quiet Time?

There are countless reasons and benefits for doing quiet time. Most importantly, everyone in your family (including the toddler) needs time alone as you can read about in this post. If you homeschool, a quiet time might be the key to getting one-to-one instruction time with your kids. You might use a quiet time to read your Bible if you didn’t wake up quite early enough. Perhaps it is your chance to get through a load of laundry in a timely manner!

Your child who is doing “Quiet Time” is learning valuable skills of how to entertain themselves without being dependent on you! You might use Quiet Time to lay the groundwork for a Bible reading habit for your child or it might become an important tool for your child to use later on when they are dealing with more complex emotions.

When to Start

I have generally started teaching my children to do a quiet time when they drop their morning nap and start only needing one nap each day. This typically happens between 15 and 18 months. The reasons that age works well include i) you are replacing one nap with a quiet time, which means you aren’t changing up your routine very much; ii) your child is still in a crib which provides fantastic boundaries for a quiet time; iii) Your adorable sweetheart is probably driving you bonkers just a little and a quiet time will feel like a massive blessing, and iv) you likely aren’t trucking all over the place going to different activities quiet yet or potty training or any of those other “busy” things.

If you missed the train on starting during toddlerhood, however, you can start this any time!

Set a quiet time apart from a consequence

It is critical that you make it abundantly clear to your child that this is not a consequence. If you use some sort of “time out” as a consequence in your home make it crystal clear that this is a different thing. Put your child in a different location for timeouts, use very different labels for the consequence vs. the quiet time, and explain to your child what they get to do (They’ll understand – see this post). By all means, have a cheerful attitude! If you are irritated with your child when you set them up for a quiet time they will conclude that this is some sort of punishment.

Make Quiet Time fun

A quiet time is intended to be enjoyable. The key to success for my children has always been to let them have a little snack during quiet time. Something about one of those little snack cups full of cheerios or graham crackers makes it ok when mom walks out of the room and closes the door! It is worth the crib crumbs – but I do choose a snack that will be minimally messy like cheerios or kix.

I pull out special toys for quiet time that I have set aside for that part of the day. Right now my daughter gets a kick out of these farm animals. Periodically, I switch them up. I also put on music and make sure to have a cozy light so that the room feels cheerful.

Use Quiet Time to establish a future habit

One of my goals has always been to eventually turn quiet time into Bible reading time. So, the music I choose is based on the Bible. I love these Songs for Saplings CDs.

I also give them books that focus on the Lord such as their “Hug-a-Bible“. They may not be able to read, but this is starting to establish a habit that will be lifelong. My 6-year-old is set on “reading” her Bible every day already. (Often I’ll put on an audio Bible for her since she is still learning to read.) She values that habit and I hope that she feels the need to be in God’s Word every single day of her life. It is never too early to start communicating to your child that reading the Bible and praying each day is important. Click the image below for some great book ideas related to this topic!

Start small and build

When you first start a quiet time, set a timer for 5-10 minutes. Your toddler might have a little tantrum at first but stick to your guns. Have a cheerful attitude when you leave and when you return and demonstrate confidence. This is a good experience! Mom will be back soon, you play. Once they understand that you will come back shortly (after 3-4 days) you can gradually add more time. Step it up to 15 minutes and let them get used to that. I wouldn’t recommend going longer than 45 minutes for a young toddler and an hour for an older child. If after 30 minutes your child is consistently getting fussy then that may be their limit and that is ok. What they are capable of doing will grow with them.

For kids who are out of the crib set clear boundaries

If you are starting with older children you don’t have the luxury of the crib walls as boundaries. Therefore, you’ll need to set your own. Decide ahead of time what they can and can not do during quiet time and where they can and can not go. Anticipate loopholes like “I need a drink” or “I need to go to the bathroom”.

Set your boundaries so that your child is doing something where they will not need your help. If they beg you to come in and help them or read to them gently but firmly explain that, “During Quiet Time you need to do things by yourself. I will be happy to help you as soon as Quiet Time is over.” Be firm and consistent with the boundaries you have set. After about a week it will start to get easier as your child knows what is expected. Be patient.

For post-crib-aged children, a visual might be helpful. Make a list of 3 things they can do and 3 things they can not do. Draw little stick figure pictures with each item. Read it to them, explain it to them, and tape it up as a reminder of the boundaries you have set. Even if they can not read, the little stick figures will be a helpful reminder of what the words say.

Use a Timer

A timer will allow you to not have to keep thinking about the time and feeling mom-guilt about it. My kids have always come to really enjoy quiet time so I tend to get wrapped up in what I am doing. A timer helps me remember to end quiet time.

For my older kids, I love to use a visual timer like this so they know how long they have to play by themselves. Or, if they want my help with something they know how long they’ll have to wait.

Let us know in the comments how you’ve made quiet time a success! Also, please subscribe so you don’t miss a post. I promise not to overload your inbox!